I feel like poo…

I’m not sure what makes my tummy all bloat-y but I’m not feeling so hot right now. Well, it could be the sea-salt taffy, I should check for milk ingredients. I did have soy milk, but is it really a problem? Sometimes… but it’s like… UGH. Or there was something I ate for dinner that had too much oil in it… which I’m sure constitutes for a lot of the Korean pancake thing… and there was this tuna… it should be okay? I have no idea even though I liked it because it was raw on the inside. 😦 Sigh. I was in an incredible mood today though. I was watching a lot of Stephen Chow movies. He’s like the best comedian actor. Ever. And like… if I should be unfortunate enough to get cancer I’d buy all his movies and spend my days laughing so hard there will be tears in my eyes and my stomach would ache. There was a particular scene from Out of the Dark that was just so hilarious I couldn’t stop laughing. During inbetweens, I wondered if I was loud enough for my neighbors XD. So there is a scene, a woman who was trying to kill herself, and she was like, “Why are you saving me?! Let me join my husband so we can come back to haunt you!” And each time he revived her she killed herself again, until he killed her himself when he tried to stop her from shooting herself. Anyways, the violence is somehow the best because it’s made in such a fashion that it doesn’t seem serious. I think this was funnier than his recent movies, but I’m glad he’s made a comeback, I wondered about him.

I’ve also been putting off work, and I don’t want to mention them only because it’s confidential work related. It’s not even work, it’s volunteer but I’m treating it as an internship. I’m basically a graphic designer even though that’s not my major. But illustration is such a broad degree that I should be able to do anything I want. It’s not a hard thing, the only thing that should limit you is the knowledge that a person lacks from doing art. And even though, a newbie could paint a Picasso style art, I don’t know if it would carry the same emotion. If there was one thing in the book Dorian Gray that I learned or really thought more thoroughly about, it would be that an artist could be put so much work with his emotions, his feelings, and his heart. I felt bad for Basil that he was murdered for something so incredulous by his own creation, but that’s when Dorian really became fallen. Maybe that’s why a lot of my ideas aren’t even carried is because they’re half-assed and I don’t think about them. But there’s some things that I put all my soul into and that’s something to shape my own base desire. I’m actually a little drunk because I’m tired. I strained myself mentally drawing 3 portraits, but it was 4 only because there was one that I started on but I ended scrapping it because it was so ugly in the end. The irony behind it was, the person who posed for me kept saying she didn’t want any wrinkles on her face and she didn’t want to look old. The picture that I did for hours was like… old and wrinkled… hah… I don’t know. Too much pressure, too much restrictions, my heart was not into it anymore. I redid her with a more freestyle. But by the time I got to the third person who asked for a portrait, I was frustrated beyond anything, and I was so mad at myself because I couldn’t get it right. I probably wouldn’t survive being a caricature artist. Hell no. One picture is tiring enough. This also goes to show that when people put restrictions on others, it really limits them. And this is coming from a personal standpoint from tonight. But I’m going to try to stay awake longer so I can finish this project I’ve been putting off. That is all.

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