Take over the World.

Just something I’m working on. I tried really hard to make them look as real as possible, but I find my girls lack a kind of life to them. Actually, they were done around an hour each, I aimed for 2 but with Spring Show, I was aiming to do 10, but what a joke, can’t do that in 3 days. Now, I am just going to do a hundred of them over the course of time. Before summer is over I guess. That is ample time. I should really put in 2 hours of work. And then for figures, I should do another 100, but figures are much harder than faces, because you need reference. I don’t quite have 100 reference photos…

This week wasn’t exactly finals, but it is the culmination. I think next week is the semester climaxing and week 15, which is in 2 more weeks is the resolution. I had so much stuff to do still, my art history essay I had to turn in tuesday @ 12pm. I woke up this morning with only a rough, but finished writing with an okay first draft. I’m going to say, that a B is not unexpected, and i don’t expect an A because that wasn’t the grade I was going for. At this point, I dunno what the heck I want anymore. Anything and everything deserves time and attention to become what society and academia deems as an “A.” So I just said fuck it. But I really didn’t do that, as I poured a lot of time into research. I wish I hadn’t, but sometimes, to get the point across, you gotta do that extra step.

Well, I finally dl’d some media from Concept and Design, with Zhang Lu! I’ve never met him before but I dreamed about him, and he looked way too handsome. I think most people I haven’t met before become average in looks when I see them in real life. But that is besides the point (Yeah, I’m actually really shallow, but you can’t blame me since its my nature since forever). He’s an awesome artist. I can’t seem to achieve the realism he gets from imagination. These girls I drew were based on Caucasian females, except for the Jennifer Aniston one. That really is a portrait of Aniston because I needed to get started on something. And yeah, Angelina Jolie has the most ideal lips, but I am not attracted to overall her face like most people. I feel like these girls from imagination aren’t quite “there” yet. Oh… probably because I haven’t done a thousand portraits yet. :\

When I look at current contemporary masters, it makes me feel so very inadequate. My clothed figure drawing class is actually a lot harder than a I thought, because this whole time I have been getting B-‘s. Not a flat B, but MINUSES. A blow to the ego. Maybe it’s because my instructor happens to be the director for my program…. Been talking to him lately about career goals and what classes to take, and hopefully, I can get him to remember me even after I graduate by bugging him a lot about menial things. Maybe that’s it, I dunno. When I am in the workshop, I draw, but then sometimes, I get really nervous when he comes by and checks. I breath sighs of relief, but then, I also wonder, “Really? I have nothing you can critique me on?” I’ve decided to try and approach him about it next session, and see if I can improve my awareness and skills and why I am getting B minuses….  B’s are easy to get if you have good skill. I actually consider it to be the actual, “average” among the good artists. But A’s are sometimes easy, other times, it’s like a deep chasm. The reason I obsess over grades is because I want to be in Spring Show, I want to be recognized for outstanding skill, and it’s essential to show that you have experience for resumes and work. Without this, you have nothing, can’t get hired by Blizzard or any other top game companies, probably won’t be hired by Pixar or those kinds of top companies… You might be hired by B rate companies…  I do wonder where my art is taking me. It pulls me strangely in different directions. I have no clue of anything anymore.  See? Grades do matter. It matters if you want to take over the World.

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