Crap, I have too much to do this weekend!!! D:
Crap, I have too much to do this weekend!!! D:
I don’t have a love letter, but I’m trying to think that if I had someone I wanted to write a letter to, who would it be? When my friends come to mind, not a single one, I wouldn’t get anything back. Just like my phone calls. I love getting letters by mail, it’s personal and it’s for ME. Except for bills and all that. I get excited when I get a letter in the mail. I have a pen nib and ink too… I wonder if a majority of America thinks that way, or it’s just me….
Anyway, if I could have voted today, I would have voted for Obama. You can’t waste your vote on third parties because they will never be counted and I just dislike the Bush administration, and neither was the woman running for vice president favorable. She’s a bit coo-coo. I think she would have made woman look worse than they all ready do. No offense, I’m a female advocate, go ladies! but she wants to have children be taught abstinance only? I don’t think they’ll listen, it is like a parent who is being too strict, they will rebel. It’s a known trait, and it’s inevitable. And what if they don’t know about how to use a condom or the idea of a condom? Really now… And also incorporating Christianity into biology. That is human opinion and you don’t need to enforce your ideas onto someone else. Pure crap. Anyway. Some of Last week’s works.
This week was about patterns. My ellipses still suck, but I like the color that came out of this. It’s not bad either, but then again, I chose something really easy to do….
Graphite and crosshatching.
I might have made the hand too bony… Oh well… I was tired!
Nowadays, in anatomy, I kind of become lazy. I don’t watch the demos on the cds except for the still life demos sometimes. And it’s just tedious to read the module about the muscles. Last year, I actually made note cards. This year it’s the muscles that lay underneath the subcutaneous muscles and it’s just… I don’t want to memorize that. 😦 Well, I’ll make it in life with or without that knowledge, it’s just helpful to know when the body twists and turns and moves…. I was never great at memorization. Which is why I got a B in geometry because I sucked at remembering the theorems and the formulas. And why I failed at pre-calc and trigonometry. C’s and D’s were frequent during those times. Sigh. By that time, I was depressed because I couldn’t understand anything in that class. My math teacher always did the easy ones as an example problem, I never understood the harder problems. It was SOOO HARD. Right. I should stop. Hahaha… On a happier note, I did pretty good in history and english and even better in Computer Graphics. And PE was enjoyable but boring because I was a loner. That was high school in a nutshell. I don’t know why people had such a hard time for the exit exam though. To avoid going back to class that day, I took my sweet old time but still finished too early.
WOW, another picture! AND it’s in graphite. Aren’t I on a roll? Haha…. no, I’m just trying to avoid studying. 😐 I keep telling myself, “It’s not that bad! Just do it!” But I don’t feel like it… WordPress should give you custom emoticons. I’d make them. Anyway about the picture… didn’t take me too long, that’s why it’s rough-ish. Probably about 4 hours or so… I always start to see mistakes after I scan my pictures in though. Aye.. well, good enough. I just though, if I ever do a how-to-draw tutorial, it’d be so confusing. For this one, I just totally dove in, I filled in whatever shape I felt like and “molded” it into buildings. I took the girl from one of my old thumbnails during summer and flipped her over to make her fly up. The thumbnail had her flying down, but I rather like it this way better. The theme of the city completely had to revolve around her clothes too… I’m not good at these things unless I look it up, which I did. I looked in my perspective book from spring. If anybody wants to know, this is 3 point persepective.
The reason I was procrastinating was because I was looking at the supplementary dvds for my still life and that instructor guy’s setup wasn’t what I was picturing for mine. My work area isn’t very good because light from the windows hits everything and I need more lamps around to control the lighting. This really sucks because I’ve all ready set everything and I don’t want to move it…. I’m going to end up buying a bunch of fabric at walmart and then sew something together to make a curtain or drape.
A typical painters work area: well, it’s preferable to be away from outside light that you can’t control. The corner of a room works best. If you have a table easel, you can set up a table in front of you and in front of that, set up another table for the still life objects. I have a table easel, so I’m stuck using half my long desk for the easel, but its on the wrong side! Because I’m so stupid, I put my computer to the right of that desk, but the shelvese at the bottom of the long table is on the right. So if I put my easel there, I won’t have much leg room if I sit… And I’m also a total feng shui freak, so my back is suppose to be facing south if I want good health…. hahaha.. From the looks of it, I’m not doing that. I don’t want to move everything, but I might have to… who knows, maybe later. I think introverted people need to ramble because they have no one else to talk to in their lives. I’m sorry for rambling… haha..
Christian Celebration – The real portion
Tonight, I didn’t quite feel like I was able to express everything in that short moment I was standing up. Unfortunately, I didn’t really prepare all too well, and I didn’t ask for the Lord’s assistance either so it came out all wrong and not as sentimental as I wanted it to be.
So this is the real one.
Since I came to be within the Christian’s on Campus group, it was a very hard struggle and a battle within myself, I can blame Satan or just something else inside me but I do believe that a part of him is actually your Ego, something that Freud describes so well that berates you for all the wrong that you do and the one that seeks pride or pity. And for awhile I just felt very confused as my position within the group; mainly because I worried that people would believe I was a freeloader or someone who was just in it just because and there was no real reason behind it. I came to home meetings and even meetings with Gloria & Timber sort of listlessly because spatially I wasn’t there yet. Even when I was baptized, I didn’t feel that change where people say they’ve been saved, Hallelujah! No… I just felt like me, I didn’t feel any different, like should I feel something?
And like I said, I called Gloria one time about to cancel one of our meetings (this was after spring break) and I just totally said, “I-I can’t meet anymore. Bye.” And that was it. But she called me again and I couldn’t hold what was inside anymore and started to spill my guts out and tell her my feelings. We were planning the other day about what I was going to say and I said at that time I was so distraught that imagine a painted canvas where it was just red paint splatter all over the place with maybe a touch of blue or green in there – kind of like the expressionists’ emotions. But it felt good to finally let someone know. Like even though I full and completely believe in God the whole time, I just felt completely detached from the rest of the body and it wasn’t because of anybody but my own insecurities. After awhile it felt really good to meet with the sisters on Wednesday nights eating dinner because I finally felt a part of something and it was very pleasant and I hope it’ll continue until my departure. And I should thank the Lord for helping me sticking with it all the way through.
And I shall finish this off with… YEAHHH……… 😀
The above note I also posted in my facebook, but I really wanted to share elsewhere. It’s personal but something other’s can touch because it doesn’t reveal too much or too little. In my opinion, I always felt like I revealed too much, so I just don’t know what to say anymore. I can’t help that I am blunt, and I also can’t help that lying feels like shit so I steer clear from that. And not to mention how blatantly nervous I was when I stood in front of everyone but that’s due to lack of preparation. Didn’t really know what to talk about so I just said whatever and I didn’t get to convey message at all — I only got to the surface but not what was underneath.
Lately, I feel bad for wasting a mess of time by not doing work and not trying hard enough. Now everything has begun to catch up with me and a lot, a lot, a lot!
This feels like so much, I wonder why it had to happen this very month? Why not dispersed? Sigh.. part of it is of course my fault, half of that list I put off, and the other half is all ready by default what I should do every week. I’ve slowly begun to work on all of them but it’s so gradual, who knows if I can finish it all, especially my school things.
Both done in graphite. Head and Neck studies.
Wah, naturally, I’ll post more anatomy hw. And this week features the lower leg muscles, the calf and … some other ones.
Okay, I messed up on the foot a little, but I wasn’t feeling the whole charcoal thing at the moment so I went with graphite.
I used a darker sanguine than before, and I made sure to put some different toning than before. I’ll say, it’s pretty neat. Screwed up a little on the side of the thigh I can see. I’m starting to like using conte crayon because it’s not as messy as charcoal, although, the big stick is hard to control… only because I didn’t sharpen it to a point. It’s kind of wasteful like that… haha.. yeah.
Good news is that I’m starting to pay attention to the weight on the feet. I did before, but now I’m actually making myself pay more attention to it. Heh…
I feel so weird now because I’m not worrying about anything anymore. Maybe because I’ve worried so much that all my worries went away. And I’m directing my wishes into the air. I don’t know, I just woke up feeling quite good. Perhaps it was because I was sleeping on the floor, or maybe I dreamt something that put me in a good mood. I remember my dream pretty well, but not thoroughly. See, I think I dreamt about this Jrock band “Nightmare” so like… they were trapped in a room, and I volunteered myself to help them out. I don’t know if I promised to get them out or something – I think I did, but when I went to get “supplies” I was at a supermarket buying food? Hahaha… and I specifically remember trying to find the laughing cow cheese, but there was a “pig” brand too and it was cheaper so I was like.. “hmm… what should I buy?” I was only looking at the pictures more than what kind of cheese types it was selling. I don’t think I bought anything. I met up with my brother there and he said something to me about “my screaming rockbands” and perhaps something about me incapable of helping them. He followed me afterwards to see what I was doing. And I met up with the band again, and there was this girl who spotted us trying to escape. She wanted to tell the other girls but she hurt her index finger, scratching it maybe.. and then the leader went over and licked her finger… So, I’m like… ‘okay?’ The girl swoons and she doesn’t say anything more and lets us to our business. There could have been a hole because the next thing I knew I was falling and knocking into some toy soldiers and we were back in the same room…. So I have… no idea if I even got the whole dream right, I only remember pictures here and there.
Sigh.. but I must get back to work. Until next time…
My eye was having a spasm about a week ago and it went on for about 3-4 days. I just noticed it finally stopped. It was so weird because it felt like I could feel my heart beating from there and also the lower lid felt like it was moving so whenever I relaxed my eyes… it was like I can see the bottom part kind of moving – made it annoying to see and read things. I’m… getting sucked into my computer again. It’s really very annoying since I’m on it and all my resources are enclosed as data because I don’t have the expenses to get something physical.
During spring break I just did a lot of perspective hw, they’re too big using my regular canoscan, so it’s annoying to scan a 11×14 picture. I’m actually looking into getting a scanner that fits, but I want to get one for home office use because what am I going to do with a big fat scanner and printer? There’s no space around here to begin with. So those all-in-ones are great except the standard size is too small. I wish I could find one like that… at a reasonable price for home office. Compact is key nowadays, isn’t it? What with all those blackberries, palm pilots, and ipods, etc.
Lately, I’ve been reading Blade of the Immortal thanks to a friend’s recommendation. I was thinking about it, but I knew I was going to get sucked in. And it was going pretty slow for about a month into it. I’d ready about 4 volumes, and then suddenly after like… the 10th one, I just couldn’t stop, and there’s not even as much as Berserk. I like Hiroaki Samura’s artwork for BotI; it striked me as odd! Because he didn’t use traditional toning and inking, he used graphite as I read on Wikipedia, and it’s cool since he went to an art school so that’s a plus. I thought he went with mixed media on some like graphite and watercolor. It’s really nice though and innovative, which inspires me. I think I should try something like that. I’m seeing a lot of artists for games and books going backwards and using acrylics and other paints. And personally, I like fine art and one of the best mediums ever. There’s cg artists popping up everywhere, they got some nice shit – yeah, really good stuff you can find at conceptart.org. And there was one artist who graduated 2 years ago at AAU and I saw a work from in the foundations building at Townsend, I had no idea that his stuff was put up at conceptart too, so I’m like, “Heyyy! I know that dude! –well, I saw one of his works anyway.”
Everybody has a preferred medium, I’m starting to really like using pencil and pen, but I have the best control using a pencil, I find that I get crosshatching to work well for me. I like that style too and I’ve always use it. I’ve been trying to paint today and do a portrait. It looks all right, I’m still very amateur with acrylics even though I’ve been using it for 3 years. But I don’t use it on a daily basis, more like every 6 months or something.. haha… I’d be excited to take the still life art class at school next semester so I can learn how to paint better. You can see from Ayami Kojima that she might actually use paint, but I just looked it over and he probably used a textured paint just to make her backgrounds interesting for the new Castlevania pictures. I love her
things even though they kind of look twisted. I’m not sure who this is because I’ve only played Aria of Sorrow.
This week’s hw is about the Tensor Fascia Latae, Gluteus Medius, and Gluteus Maximus
Well… I don’t think I’ll really need commentary on these other than the first one I did with charcoal, and the second because I was lazy and I didn’t want to waste more big sketchpad paper I used graphite. And that’s it.
*Edit* I’m keeping most of my original comments on Kojima, but I changed “he/his” to “she/her.”
Mind drifts and wavers
On the verge of destruction;
Then pulled back again.
A while ago I found out I did a pretty shitty job in my english class, it was also the day I realized I’m in financial shit because I will not get any financial aid for my summer tuition. I hate having to deal with money, and why it has to rule our lives. Sometimes I want to just give up and live the life of a bum but I realize I really hate being smelly and cold. Maybe I should live the life of a vagabond, I do love traveling and that’s what I want to do, travel everywhere and forget about what makes me worry so much. I’d just need one travel partner to share the experience. I also know the type of house I want. I want a house with big windows that let in light, a big room studio where there’d be an area for painting and another for a drafting table, and another area for my computer. And the backyard is close to nature, and wide so that if I feel like it, I can practice archery, and plant some apple, orange, and grapefruit trees. Maybe a mini vegetative garden too so I don’t need to rely on the supermarket.
Anyway, I’m only uploading one picture for this week, I feel a tad lazy now. My need to draw is slowly going away, but I’ve got other ventures. Homework for intro to anatomy for this week, we’re working on muscles of the back, which is the reason why this picture is so bold. It was actually a copy of a picture from Michaelangelo I think.
Anyway… I’ve got some projects I’m actually working on but not finishing. 😐
Been busy lately, so that’s why I don’t update that much. And writing a story is just so hard! Anyway, that is all. I’ll post again tomorrow maybe.
Like the dust on the
Ground and how the air takes me
Far and far away.
Just a note: I’m posting these pictures online knowing full well there might be people looking for images. I don’t mind that people take them because I take pictures from unknown sources a lot of the times. The difference is that I don’t make profit from them, so I hope that the people who come across this understand. These are free to take to examine or whatever else you might want, just don’t lie about them (of course I mean lying of any kind), it’ll come full round back at you. And I’m not trying to threaten people, I say it like it is! 😉
Is it not but annoying for people to wait on others even though the one who is waiting isn’t doing anything? I’m like that, but it’s even more so worse to do everything and anything for someone and not have anything give to you back. It’s a waste of energy and I’ll have none of that in my life. It’s best to separate yourself from the things that will ruin you. And that’s how I’m going to live, and I don’t care about how unemotional it sounds because I am too sensitive to really want to be put in that kind of situation anymore. It’s hard to be in a world where everyone plays victim, but I won’t too often! So forgive my ramblings.
Anyhow. I’ve been a bit lazy with writing, but attention has suddently shifted to a lot of drawing. It’s weird like that, but I hope I’ll always want to write and do art just the same as each other. And I suck at writing, but this is why I have Transcient Cafe.
I’ve done some of my hw for intro to anatomy. Here’s how they turned out:
The first one was all right, I had trouble with the arm so it’s pretty shitty, and I didn’t completely color the background because it was all ready over 30-40 minutes (the usual time frame to do these exercises) . I’m happy with the second head picture though, it turned out the way I wanted it too; but not completely, just mostly because I’m all ready good with faces and heads. These were done with charcoal on 18×24 vellum paper. It doesn’t matter what paper you use, they’re all the same except vellum is pretty think, and it’s also for ink and stuff. So keep in mind, it’s just a ploy most of the time to get people to buy “special” paper for specific needs, isn’t really true, you know. I toned the white paper with a sanguine crayon by scraping it with a knife and letting the dust fall, and taking a tissue (recommend to get chamois – finally something useful for it! j/k it’s good to spread charcoal, dry pastel, and crayons on your surface area)
Turned out good, ne? This was graphite on 9×12 paper. No need for anything fancy, fixed it a little w/photoshop with the leveling, but that’s it.
Oh yes, and the reason I’m doing haikus is because I want to get into poetry more, and I absolutely suck at it. I figured if I took a hand in it, I’d understand more, and I think I do.