I don’t seem to have a penchant for blogging as much anymore… although it seems to have come back full swing! There are so many social media things that take away my attention and time. As well as hunting for work. I slept a lot back in November. But the other problem was that I kept waking myself up in the middle of the night, and took forever to fall back asleep again. A lot was and still is on my mind… and it just doesn’t seem to end because my life feels as though there are continuous hurdles I have to jump over. That makes me feel weak and tired sometimes.
But not today. Today, I woke up feeling good. Of course I wonder if the tiredness is because I’ve hit my mid-twenties (and very much like every other young fresh graduate who’s forced to live at home with Mom and Dad even though I really want independence). I want to complain, but I know I really can’t. Well, this is slight complaining, isn’t it? By sharing my disgruntled self. I think with the whole fiasco of some people abusing the use of social networking to find bad seed employees has very much scared off public displays of discontent! (And also, silly people who party and do drugs and post their rendezvous online. Ouch. Don’t do that. The Internet is FOREVER. Just like this post will be!)
Quite frankly, that is a doctrine that is important for when we are working in an office with other people. Nobody wants to work in an a place with angry and none-responsible people left and right. If I was a War General, I would boot these people out of my camp, and not let them anywhere near the other soldiers because it kills morale. Can’t commandeer an acute attack on emotionally high strung people who are going to blow up as soon as their nerves are frazzled. That’s how I see it. A few months ago, I was just interning at a company, and not to be naming names, but the supervisor was a scary and strange person who sent out angry emails to everybody in the office. The scare tactics were, imho, shameful in trying to shame the person who screwed up. This addresses many things, but I’ll be going on a tangent if I do delve into this topic. The main thing is that, some people are not very good at keeping it inside and so others suffer from it. And when they start to feel like they’re being treated like shit, they’re gonna work less productively and want to leave.
I’m going to be honest and say, the reason I’m blogging a lot less is not only is my attention split, but I’m afraid to make a bad impression on my person. I don’t want to be viewed as highly emotional and unprofessional in demeanor — read: WEAK. In either my work life or my personal life.
This is what I imagine other people seeing me on the outside:
Yeah, you know what? I’m not really all that pissed off. And I’m really not a mean person either. When I smile at strangers, the meanest looking people smile back as warmly. Just putting that out there. There is a crease in the middle of my forehead that makes me worried because it seems to deepen, and make me look even more angry… And the more I worry, the more I am outwardly worrying….
But I suppose I shouldn’t shy away from expressing some part of myself, if it means helping with someone else who is as much of a worry wort as me. People make mistakes all the time and I make so many I’ve stopped worrying about them and I move on so much more easily now.
Which brings me to one of my most favorite slogans:
What does this phrase mean? Hasn’t it always been that you aim first and then shoot? Well, I first came upon this phrase on Steve Pavlina’s blog, which at first opened up a lot of new doors for me for self-improvement and living life the way you want it to. However, as I began to grow up, I moved out of that self-improvement phase, and I’m now just living in the way that is Me. One goes through life absorbing information. But you can absorb all the information and still not get it. In any case, you should do something with that information you absorb right? This phrase is used for people who are not afraid of risks and crave ambition and success. It’s not for everyone. This phrase means taking a chance and risking a lot of things. It only makes sense if you’ve ever taken archery or gone to a shooting range, which I’ve done both. Lots of people aim and then shoot because they care about getting it right the first time. But this approach to me is very slow…. too slow. However, shooting first, you have almost 50/50 chance of hitting something, and probably an even smaller chance of hitting your target. Yet as you keep shooting, you learn from your mistake and you become better and faster, and more precise with each mistake. It gives faster results, but more consequences and experience. I’m not one who is afraid to make mistakes, until someone else’s mistake seems to catch up with me. That’s a risk. Always. Because of other people. When more parties are involved, it just gets complicated. So, taking risks should also mean being guarded and prepared for terrible outcomes and taking responsibility for the decisions you make and then from others.
This is almost the premise of thumbnailing and idea sketching. You barf up as much ideas as you can, and then you pick the best ones to flesh out.
Some time ago, I went out with friends for a party and haven’t had the ability to post this up until now… This post is actually a draft that I wrote but never published in November 2013. Well, its not that I haven’t been out and about, I’ve gone down the O.C. to see family 3 weeks in a row, every Sunday until the beginning of November. So lots of family visits in September/October. My friend Samantha’s birthday was on friday, November 1st and decided to meet in a restaurant instead of a house party. Well, a lot of people came rather late and a lot of us were hungry, so I decided to sketch that…. And also, my friend Kathy drew a bunny and I drew a turtle next to her drawing for me. And Gir for Samantha.
In any case, blogging is therapy. If you want to know what I’m doing nowadays, I’m just trying to work on personal projects and would actually like to start drawing my comics. Which I keep saying, but since I’m pretty down, I think this year is going to change. I mean there’s gonna be a Black Moon Rising on January 30th! I say even if there was a comet coming our way, humans change for the better after going through something big, right?
On January 30th we will have a rare event. The moon will be the 2nd new moon in the same month and it also will be a super moon, (tides higher than normal), which is known as a black moon. This moon can be seen during the day only.